Don't Think About the Past
by skywalkor
Summary: "Kakashi had never seen something like that. Too busy running around, fighting for his life had made him blind – but a moment of silence, a warm light, the people he treasured most in the world right there in front of him, asleep, made him realize what he had missed." A oneshot about Kakashi, Yamato and their four year old son.


_A fluffy fic from Kakashi's POV, 'bout him, Yamato and their son. Hope you enjoy it!  
(C) Characters belong to Kishi the man. Or, not Yukio, but all the other's. Thank you. _

* * *

_This is impossible._

He stared up in the ceiling, sighed as he put the hands behind his head in a relaxing pose. The bed was cool and comfortable, the sheets felt soft against the bare skin.  
But despite all that, he couldn't sleep.

The white haired man's look flew away to a small table on his left side, where a thin orange book carefully was placed.

_Oh... I really want to read that part again..._

He reached out his arm, but stopped the motion half way. No, this wasn't the time. He could read it later. If he did it now, he would _never_be able to sleep...  
A smile decorated his lips when he sighed and leaned back in the earlier pose, thinking about his favorite parts again...

Sounds of birds singing outside the window, a breeze that blew in through the open window.

_I miss you guys._

Rin, Obito, Minato. But also Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. Pictures from his memory, all of their smiling faces appeared in his mind, made him smile a little. Of course he could still see Team 7, but it had been a while. He had been busy with his things, and they had been busy with theirs. Their paths didn't cross that much anymore, and maybe it was good that they could take care of themselves – train, grow stronger, start a family... But he couldn't help but to miss those days when they were still were young, naive and full of energy. A team built by bonds of friendship and trust. A team he classified as family.

And the others.  
The sorrow after Obito, Rin and Minato leaving him was something that he had learned to live with. He got over it bit by bit, but a part of them would always be there with him. And he liked it that way. Their will were still buried inside his heart, and it gave him hope. Peace, love, comradeship... Things they all had believed in.

The man sighed to himself.  
Then suddenly -

"O-Otosan...? Why do you look so sad?"

Not prepared for the sudden voice that spoke to him, he turned his head to the right and looked into a pair of big, dark gray eyes.  
The boy's brown hair was messy, and the nose tip and cheeks were a little pink. He looked worried and thoughtful, like any other kid in his age would if they hadn't got their candy or ninja toys for their birthday.

Something warm and familiar settled down in his stomach, pride filled his chest when he looked at the kid beside him. He rolled over to his side so he could look him in the eyes, feel his closeness. _His son_. His living son, a part of him right there, beside him.

"Maah, it's nothing Yukio. Nothing you need to worry about" eyes closed, he smiled his usual smile. "Why are you even awake this early, you had a nightmare?"

Kakashi raised his hand and let it stroke over the silk smooth skin on his arm, tickle him a little on his stomach. The boy giggled by the touch and he looked happy and grumpy at the same time when he tried to push the bigger hand far, far away. The shinobi was stronger of course.  
When he finally stopped, it took a few seconds for his son to calm down, but when he did he looked up in the miss matched eyes, a little lighter this time. "No, no nightmare. But otosan... Are you sad because of daddy Yama?"

After years, that fluttering feeling still came back to him when he heard Yamato's name. Especially when their son said it, so bright and clear – daddy Yama. Would anything fit the man better? Captain, comrade... It didn't sound the same.

He looked over Yukio's shoulder.  
The man laid there, only half a meter away from him, on his side with his eyes closed. Lips slightly parted, a slight shade of pink on the cheeks, the thatch almost as messy as their son's... One of his hands were placed under his chin, the other reached out to Kakashi's side of the bed, where the brown haired boy now was sitting. He reached out his small hand and grabbed Yamato's fingers, tried to hold his hand just like he had seen his other dad do earlier.

The copy ninja was speechless, he could do nothing but look in front of him.  
The sunbeams enlightened the room with a yellowish, bright light. The wardrobe, the mirror, the bookshelves – everything looked different at a time like this when the light shone mildly, over the floor and over the bed. Over the two humans that laid there in front of him. It was magical.

The kid had crawled up in fetal position, still holding the wood ninja's hand, and he tilt his head against his left shoulder.  
Yamato's face looked so calm and untroubled, it was relaxing just to look at him laying there.

Kakashi had never seen something like that. Too busy running around, fighting for his life had made him blind for the world – but a moment of silence, a warm light, the people he treasured most in the world right there in front of him, asleep, made him realize what he had lost. He wanted to capture the moment. Save it forever, in his memory. What he dreamed for, lived for was right there in front of him – the family he always had wanted. The family he had missed ever since his own died.

"Otosan...?"

_Shinobi don't cry.  
_Yet two, three tears crawled down along pale cheeks.

"Why are you-"

"I'm okay Yukio-chan. We're okay. There's nothing you need to worry about, I was just thinking about the past."

Just as he raised his hand to wipe the tear away he got stopped by the small, soft hands. The boy had left his position and were now standing up in the bed with his arms reaching out, clumsily wiping away the salty teardrops.

"Don't think of the past... I want you to think of me and daddy, and when we're playing games and eating ramen, and think of the sunset, and Christmas gifts, and milkshakes and chocolate bars and..."

The man chuckled and wiped away a few locks of brown hair from the kid's forehead.

A cough in the background, and then a hoarse, happy voice spoke. So familiar.

"And I want you to think about now, and what's happening right here. Nee, Kakashi-san?"

Yamato sat up behind the boy, ruffled his hair a little, but all the time he looked into the copy ninja's eyes.  
There it was, the feeling in his stomach again. It went through his whole body this time, made him shiver just by hearing that voice saying his name. He smiled with his whole face, nodded against them both. "I will."

"Yosh!" Yukio yawned and jumped one time in the bed to celebrate the short answer.

Even though the mokuton user still was tired, he grabbed the tiny waist and pulled the slim body closer. "Hey, don't jump in the bed!"

One last glance at their silhouettes and Kakashi was almost sure that he had imprinted the picture of them for good on his mind, at least he did hope so. He wanted to remember it when he got older and didn't have much left.

He chuckled again, then stood up on his knees. "Yo. Come here my favorite men in the world."

His son released himself from the hands that had been holding him, and he jumped straight into the man's open arms. Yamato wasn't late him either, just a few seconds later and he had his arms wrapped around them too.

"Daaad! We're fa-a-alling!" The boy screamed delighted at the same time as both of the men realized that they had lost the balance. Tumbling down on the right side of the bed, trying to protect the thin body between them from not getting crushed and at the same time trying to not get hurt themselves was a hard task, but Yukio screamed by happiness when they crashed down on the floor.

_Bang._

The wood ninja started to giggle. He lost it at the same time as Kakashi, and they both laid back on the floor, laughing so much that tears started to come up in their eyes. The boy thought it was most funny of them all, and he continued to giggle for minutes, even after both of the adults had calmed down.

Kakashi laid his hand on top of Yamato's. Eyes met, smiles exchanged. He squeezed the hand carefully.

_This is where I want to be._

"Let's do that again, otosan!"

* * *

_What did you think?_


End file.
